How To Behave When Meeting Latin American Parents

A couple of weeks ago, my dad FINALLY met my boyfriend! After being so stubborn, he eventually was "ready" and accepted to have a small introductory chat with him.
However, Jeff and me were a bit uneasy about how it was all going to turn out. After all, we come from different cultures (he's Canadian, I'm Peruvian) and our understanding on what is polite or what is correct may not be the same.
Luckily, both times that Jeff got to talk to my dad (yes! Twice already!!) went pretty well; but after talking on the phone with him about what else he would've done or talked about with my dad, I realized we both needed some ABC on what to do and what not to do when meeting parents.

When introducing to Latin American parents, first of all you need to know how much English they know. Maybe they don't speak it at all, which means awkward silences are going to be dominating the first encounter. If they don't speak English, you need to learn at least five very important things in Spanish:

#1 Me llamo ______. Mucho gusto. [My name is _____. Nice to meet you.]
#2 Yo no hablo mucho espanol. [I don't know too much Spanish]
#3 Muchas gracias. [Thank you very much]
#4 Si, gracias. / No, gracias. [Yes, thank you. / No, thank you]
#5 Senor / Senora. [Mr. / Mrs.]

If they do speak English, ask to your partner how well they speak it. Some people speak it slowly (because is not their native language), whereas others have more domain of the language. If they do speak it fluidly, then you better have a list of possible topics to break the ice to make it less awkward. Hopefully your partner will participate, too, to help make the conversation more interactive.

Number five is tricky, though. You see, in Canada it's polite to call everybody by their first names. So if I am white, I'll be presenting my dad to my boyfriend as Robert*, and my mom as Alice*. To most white people, being called by last name is not correct and even considered rude. In Latin American countries, being called by their first name is a sign of disrespect. They might not be offended, but they won't like you for sure. They preferred to be called by last names. In this case, I won't be introducing my parents with my last name because my boyfriend is supposed to know my full name by now!! Introducing should go like this:

Me: Jeff, this is my dad.
Jeff: Nice to meet you, Mr. Villa.
Me: And this is my mom.
Jeff: Nice to meet you, Mrs. Villa.

After that intro, you don't need to call them by last names anymore for the rest of the conversation. Simply "Sir" or "Ma'am" will do. It is also important to shake hands, as Latin Americans believe in physical contact, as opposed to North American countries in which a nod of the head is usually enough.

These are just the basics. There are so many differences between cultures about what is correct to do in one but not in the other. But for now, this is all you need to know about meeting your Latin American girlfriend/boyfriend's parents. It's a very interesting culture that will get less complicated with time and communication. So, embrace it! =)


[*] Different names used to protect the identity of the individuals.

Stupid Cupid

For 2/3 of this world, the 14 of February is synonim of romantic dates, perhaps at sunset in the fanciest restaurant in town, with a box of chocolates and/or flowers in her hand, and love cards on their bed table. Little birds singing, a light breeze to play with her hair, and Minnie Riperton's "Lovin' You" in the air. He belongs in her arms, and she belongs in his.

Picture courtesy of Google Images

For the rest of people, people like me, this day's just bullshit. But it's not just one more day in the calendar. It's a torture, a laugh in the face to those individuals that are single. In Peru, February 14th is actually called "The day of love and friendship", so nobody really is left out from the celebration. This, my dear friends, is also what I call BULLSHIT. You can include what ever you want in the definition of that day, but it's not going to make single people stop feeling bad because they don't have a significant other.

I HATE Valentine's Day because people that never go out, or never show their love for their partners anymore try to compensate the whole year in one day.
I HATE Valentine's Day because couples fill restaurants, parks, movie theatres, clubs, hotels and what not to the max, and prices double up. If you happen to be a smart human being that sees 02/14 as another day and HAPPEN to go out that evening, you-are-screwed.
I HATE Valentine's Day because it makes single people feel bad for not being in a relationship (even those people that feel great about the single life any other day of the year). Just because your best friend happens to be in a relationship by that time, society makes you feel like a loser.
I HATE Valentine's Day because is a disgusting Marketing strategy to sell you that box of chocolates, that love card, those flowers, that Valentine's movie that you buy. An invention to take your money again. Like Christmas is not enough.
I HATE Valentine's Day because it's so-called the Day of Love, and in my opinion, there is not a higher insult to love than that. Love is not a DAY. Love is everyday. Love is not only to your boyfriend/girlfriend. It's also to yourself, and nowadays so many people don't truly know that. That you can't expect to be loved if you don't love who you are first.

So, where will I be on February 14th? At my boyfriend's, eating dinner that we made ourselves, celebrating that we found each other; but mostly celebrating because it IS an important day for him, and Love is also about making your better half happy. If it makes him smile, it's all what matters.

My intimate gathering with The Hunger Games

A few weeks ago I finished reading The Hunger Games trilogy. I've heard of people reading the three books as little as 15 days! I read slowly, and finished them in a month and a half. Still a record for myself for three books! Back in the day, I remember finishing reading Harry Potter 4 in four days!

It took me a while to start reading The Hunger Games series because I considered them "teenager books". Probably as cheesy and desperate-for-surreal-love as the Twilight series (can you guess I'm not a big fan?). But my younger sister had been reading them for school, and told me how awesome they were and made me promise her I was going to read them. A promise is a debt, so after a year of dragging the subject, I finally picked up the first book. The first 3 chapters were a bit boring for my taste, but after I kept reading, it became better and it grew on me as an obsession. Before I could take a moment to reflect the first book I had already grabbed "Catching Fire", the second one. I needed to know what happens later! By the time I finished the last book, "Mockingjay", I had cried my eyes out so many times, laughed like somebody just told me the funniest joke, started grabbing my blanket on my bed really hard as consequence of the suspense, even screamed when something absolutely surprising happened. I lived the book like I was right there. Even to this day, I can't stop thinking about it.

I have to confess that I sank into a mild depression after the first book. There is a developing romance between the principal characters (yes, it has romance in it, shame on me). Katniss and Peeta are both sixteen years old, and when Peeta confesses his love for Katniss the whole story changes. Later in the first book you will discover that Peeta had been in love with her since they were little kids. And I thought: "I don't remember when was the last time I felt like that". That need of holding on to something forced me into a introspection that I couldn't control. Luckily, the end of the series were higher than my expectations, so even though I still think about the book, there is no bitter taste of an unsatisfying finale.

So before I ruin the whole storyline for you, let me tell you in general lines what it is about.

Liam Hemsworth stars in The Hunger Games. Girls, first row!!

In a post-war Earth, there is a country called Panem, which it used to be North America. Panem, which main city is the Capitol, is divided by 12 districts: District 1, District 2, District 3, and so on... 74 years ago, the population of Panem decided to rebel against the hostility and tyranny of the Capitol. They lost, resulting in the extinction of District 13 and the creation of the Hunger Games, a reminder to the fallen of the omnipotent power of the Capitol. These games consist on picking randomly a boy and a girl between the ages 12 and 18 from each district, called tributes, and send them to the Capitol where they will be thrown into an arena and will have to fight for their lives. The only way to get out of there is to kill everybody else. There is only one victor. The whole event is, by the way, televised and viewed by all Panem. Pretty much as what we know nowadays as a "reality show" (Hello "Big Brother", "The Biggest Loser"?) It doensn't sound so bad, but the trick is this: the Games Makers, creators of every Hunger Games arena, have deadly strategies to force the tributes to kill each other and not hide until God knows when. The longer the games take, the less sponsors the event obtains (they even have sponsors for kids killing kids!!), and the Capitol doesn't want that.

I've heard of another Japanese book/movie that has a similar concept, called Battle Royale. It has been made a movie as well as the Hunger Games (premier March 23rd, 2012). If you are curious, check it out and tell me about it LOL But personally, the Hunger Games are amazing. Last book that made me feel this way was 'The Godfather' (by Mario Puzo), 7 years ago. I definitely recommend it! =)

First post of 2012

Being sick for 10 days hasn't been fun at all. A cold that took away my voice for most of those days hadn't allowed me to do what I love the most: sing. In fact, I hadn't been singing that often even. I have to blame it on my parents. Since we live in a tiny basement suite, they are afraid our neighbors might complain for the "noise" and quickly try to shut me up. Katia doesn't like to be told to shut up. So, I stopped singing altogether. Having my voice gone for over a week made me realize that I should sing anyway and give a shit about what others say [Oh, she just said the S word!]. I might even sound awful, but how do you expect me to improve if I don't practice?!

So... I haven't been writing anything since last month because of work, procrastination, and a big fat distraction called boyfriend. We are in that phase where every new thing you know about him/her fascinates you and every time you see him/her there are pink stars all around and all looks shiny and new and fresh. Since that phase is short, I want to enjoy it before it's gone (althought something tells me it's not going anywhere any time soon).
I have had things to talk about, but my brain lately seems to have problems to focus in one thing at the time, which makes writing a post about one thing only, not impossible, but extremely difficult.

But before having more ambitious goals, let's start by something easy. This is my first [shame on me!] post of the year 2012. Meanwhile I do not believe in New Year's resolutions (because I strongly believe that if a person wants to change for real, he/she will do it at that very minute, and wont wait until the year is gone), I do like to make To-Do lists. What I want to achieve in this year, and that I have the certainty I will.
Two words: Independence and Experience [Ok, that's three words if you count "and"].
I want to learn things for myself like cooking decent meals, doing my own laundry, clean after myself (and not wait for mom to give me a lecture and cleaning after me anyway), pay my bills, drive my own car, set my own rules.
I also want to learn more about my job from experienced people, open up my ears and listen what they have to say so I don't screw up. Who knows, maybe in the process I'll impress somebody.

2012 looks very promising so far. This is the year I finish school, I get my N driving license, my passport expires, I actually start exploring LinkedIn (shoulda done that months ago!), takes place the most mind-blowing metal festival on a cruise which I am attending, of course; and apparently the world's life ends. Yeah, a very interesting year indeed [That was half sarcasm]. Can't wait to live it! *fist in the air*

Cover's night

Today was the day that I could finally use my microphone. I recorded 3 songs with it, and I have to say once more that I love it! No crappy audio, just pure sound.

I tried Kingfisher Sky's Balance of Power, Seven Kingdoms' Wolf in Sheep's Clothes and Epica's Linger. For the first two, it was nervewrecking for me. I usually sing because I feel like it, but this time I HAD to do it. So it was embarrassing for even myself. But after screwing up a couple of times and laughing about it, I started to have fun with it. I even tried The Phantom of the Opera, but forgot to save the file! =(

After trying for an hour and a half with these songs, I felt really tired. So Linger didn't come out as I was expecting, but recorded it and saved it anyway. I hope I get some more time to try other songs. Next in my list are Epica's Solitary Ground (or Chasing the Dragon), Nightwish's Cadence of her Last Breath (requested by Mark Rosera :] ) and Delain's Daylight Lucidity (or Sleepwalker's Dream). Still accepting requests or suggestions!

Let's have fun!

Challenge list

I've realized that I can't use my microphone while my parents are at home. The only time I'm at home is at nighttime, and so are my parents, and they get freaked out when we are too noisy because we live in a basement with paper-thin walls. We have had a neighbour before that used to knock on the wall whenever we were too noisy. So now my parents are paranoid (even though that neighbour is long gone!)

The only day I will have it for myself will be Friday. Then I'll have the chance to use my microphone =D So, until that day comes, I'm making a list of which songs to cover. So far, I have:

• Kingfisher's Sky - Balance of Power
• Seven Kingdoms - Wolf in Sheep's Clothes
• Epica - Linger
• Epica - Solitary Ground

Nothing else crosses my mind right now. I need help to fill this list! Any suggestions? ;-)

Sing it away...

My computer interface is finally here! I can now use my brand new professional microphone!! Not the ones that you get for $40 at Best Buy or Future Shop. This one cost me $135! Manufacturer price of $250. I'm absolutely in love with it!

I bought the microphone first because I really wanted to record myself singing some covers. Then I realized I needed an XLR cable. And THEN I realized I needed an XLR convertor to USB. So, it took me almost a month to get all together. But it took me at least 3 months to decide to buy them all. You see, with a friend of mine that lives in Washington, DC, we want to create some metal tunes, and he showed interest in my voice after I sent him some videos of me singing. And I've always dreamed of having a band. So, I am making my dream come true.

I just tested my microphone because I have been crazy busy all week long. This has been by far my busiest week of the year! So I had only had the chance to record a tiny "Hi. This is test number one" test on my computer. The sound is so crisp and clear. I am really looking forward to do this project!

If you want to check how my microphone looks like, click here. It's a AKG Perception 220 Condenser microphone. I'll be taking pictures of it by next week. When all the madness is gone!